Have you been mooning over the Jim Halpert guy sitting in the cubicle over from you, or have you had your eye on that friend of a friend that comes around to your favorite bar? Instead of sitting on your hands and hoping that someday he'll decode your silent "ask me out" stares, pull a modern-woman move and take the initiative!
But I get it, walking up to a guy and asking him out for a candlelit dinner can be hard. Intimidating. Downright terrifying. So how about we suit you up with a few moves, and see how it goes? Below are seven tips on how to ask out your crush - because it's time!
1. Make It Casual
If you're feeling intimidated about asking someone out on a bona fide date, don't be. Instead, see it as grabbing drinks or checking out an event with a friend. You don't need to ask him to join you to a romantic restaurant where you'll be waiting for him with a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Rather, just casually ask if he wants to join you to try out Manhattans at a gin bar you've been curious to try, or if he'd like to keep you company at a blues bar you go to every weekend. If you treat it like asking a pal out with you, the pressure seems a little less all-encompassing.
2. Ask Offhandedly
The hype of asking someone out is the hardest part, so instead of drafting a battle plan in your bedroom like a general, aim to ask the person you have googly eyes over offhandedly. For example, use something along the lines of, “Are you hungry? There's this great taco place I'm craving,” or “Man this has been a long day. Want to grab drinks after work?” When phrased that way, it'd be hard to say no. It just sounds so friendly!
3. Use Your Conversation To Set Up The Groundwork
Say you're talking with your crush right now and are psyching yourself up to get enough courage to make the next move. Make things easier on yourself by moving the conversation in a direction that will open up an invite naturally. Ask him what he was up to last weekend, and then suggest something similar for this Friday. For example, if he went to a bar with his buddies, ask if he wants to try out beer flights at a micro brew pub, or if he spent it watching movies, invite him to that interesting indie theater in Uptown. It'll seem natural, and not forced.
4. If You're Really Nervous, Invite Him Out With Friends
Are you and your buddies going to a 90s dance party this weekend, or getting cheep beers at the neighborhood bar? If you feel like you can't quite stomach asking him out on a one on one date yet, ask if he'd like to tag along. It'll come across as if you're just extending an invite for a fun Saturday night, and if he'd like to spend some more time getting to know you, chances are he'll take you up on your offer. And your friends can act as a buffer against those awkward first date pauses and get the get-to-know-you questions out of the way.
5. Make Something Happen Right Here, Right Now
Are you talking to him right now? Come up with a craving and pretty much force him to tag along. Say you'd kill for a salted caramel ice cream and grab him by the hand and lead him to the nearest gelato place. Or if you're in the near vicinity of an event or activity, spring that instead. Is there a book fair, a movie, a museum exhibit? Say it's around the corner and that you two should check it out. It might be an ambush, but to him it'll just sound fun.
6. Ask Him Out In Person
Girl, no, put down the phone. I know it's a lot easier to quickly type out the question, scrounge your eyes closed, and hit send, but it's so much easier to get a yes when you ask in person. Not only does it make you look like you've got George Clooney levels of confidence, but he won't be able to take five minutes to carefully word an excuse to bow out. Instead he'll just go with knee jerk instinct: Saying yes. Trust me on this one, it's the way to go.
7. Act Excited About The Idea – It'll Be Infectious
I know it could be hard, but don't stutter out the question while wringing your hands and staring at the table. You acting nervous will make him nervous and you'll just have anxiety bouncing between you like a ping pong ball. Instead, act super excited about the idea. Slap a big smile on your face, ask him with some oomph in your voice, and move your hands around like you just thought of a brilliant new plan for the weekend. Seeing you so excited about going out to get tacos or watch that new movie will make him feel like it really could be fun. Who doesn't like going out and having a good time, right?