8 Dressing Room Struggles Every Girl Knows Far Too Well
Ever gotten stuck in a dress? This one's for you.
1. The Lighting
It seems so dim and unassuming—could it really be THAT different from the light in your bedroom? The answer is yes. In fact, it's transforming. In the wise words of Tina Fey, "You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions." I've seen things that cannot be unseen. Felt time slipping between my fingers. Questioned everything I thought I once knew.
2. The Success to Fail Ratio
You walk in with an arm-breaking pile of clothes, only to leave with one item. And odds are that one item is just to alleviate the guilt of handing all those unwanted clothes to the dressing room attendant. It will quickly be put back in its rightful place.
3. It's Hard to Say What's Worse: Trying on Jeans, Swimsuits or Bras
Let's break this down.
Jeans: They're difficult enough to put on ONE time a day, please don't make it 11. Or 15. Or however many times it takes to find ones that aren't so tight they make you feel like a sausage and not so loose they'll bag out in the knees or creep down your hips after 30 minutes of wear.
Swimsuits: What better way to say *~*hello*~* to summer than trying on bikinis with your pasty winter body that hasn't seen the light of day for at least five months?
Bras: Boring and grueling. You walk into the dressing room with 3 sizes of every style and color, you have to put a T-shirt over every bra to make sure it doesn't give you quad-boob and you leave with a horrifying amount of scrapes on your torso from the endless hooks and oversized tags.
4. Trying on Clothes After a Big Meal
Generally I avoid this, but there is a plus side: if it looks good with a food baby, it's a definite buy.
5. Not Wearing the Proper Underwear
You'll never feel cute in those "boy shorts" again once you've had to wear them under a swimsuit you're trying on. You're also going to have one helluva time convincing yourself that dress is attractive when it's on top of a sports bra and you have a major VPL.
6. Dressing Room Curtains
They never fully close, do they? You just have to act fast and temporarily say goodbye to any semblance of modesty.
7. Getting Stuck in Clothes
It happens to us all. That dress slips on so easily then suddenly you find yourself stuck. It's like those Chinese finger traps! The seams tighten while you break into a sweat, desperately struggling to wiggle free. You fear you'll have to buy it—or worse, ask the dressing room attendant for help! The panic is real. One time my best friend had to sit on her knees while I forcefully yanked a prom dress over her head. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't been there...
8. Lazy Try-Ons
Perhaps the fitting room line is too long or the thought of taking off your socks, shoes and pants is just too much. Well, at least it's a great way to save time and money because you will NEVER buy that ribbed sweater dress you tried on over your jeans.