First Christmas with Your Boyfriend: Reality vs Expectation
Because life doesn't always turn out like a Hallmark movie.
You know that moment you realize: Hey, you have a boyfriend. And hey, you don't have to be alone for the holidays this year. That moment triggers a montage of adorable yet-to-be-lpayed out scenes, ones where you're holding hands and walking through snow, curling up with some spiced wine, exchanging thoughtful presents, and building snowmen together. There are so many cute things to do together!
But buckle up sister friend, because the reality usually doesn't meet the expectation. Below are seven things you expect to do with your boyfriend during your first holiday season together- with the expectation vs. reality.
1. Dressing The Christmas Tree Together Is Going To Be Adorable
Expectation: Nat King Cole will be playing, gingerbread cookies will be baking in the oven, and at some point of the evening he'll manage to get his hands on some mistletoe and spring it on you when you turn around all innocent-like holding tinsel. It'll be like a friggen Lifetime movie.
Reality: He'll think you're weird for needing to decorate the back of the Christmas tree, at one point he'll accidentally break the ornament you made in the second grade, and when you try to be all cute and put the star on top of the tree...you'll lose balance and it'll all topple over and go to hell.
But you'll still laugh about it. Well, half-cry, half-laugh.
2. You'll Finally Have Someone To Watch Christmas Movies With!
Expectation: You'll be snuggled up underneath a cozy blanket sipping hot chocolates, enjoying the cozy feel from the fire as you make your way down your DVRed classics.
Reality: First of all, you don't even have a fireplace. Second of all, if you think that you're going to somehow get a guy to watch a Hallmark Original Classic about how a guy and a girl fell in love while picking out their Christmas trees and their dog leashes tangled, you're in for a treat. At one point he's going to excuse himself to the bathroom.
Then he's going to climb out of said bathroom's window and then, from the cushion of the bushes, text you he'll see you tomorrow. And that'll be that.
3. You're Going To Have So Many More Presents Underneath Your Tree
Expectation: Since you now have a hunny, there's going to be more presents underneath your tree. Yay for thoughtful, lovingly wrapped gifts!
Reality: You'll have more presents alright, but they'll be wrapped in birthday paper. Because it's Jesus' birthday and guys don't give a shit about wrapping paper. Don't worry though, it's kind of endearing.
4. You Can Finally Try Out Sexy Santa Lingerie
Expectation: You're going to be a Victoria Secret Angel coming out of that bathroom door, all red sheerness and fluffy white trim. A breeze will somehow come into the room and ruffle your hair, and your guy will do a reverent sign of the cross from the bed.
Reality: Um, you're going to feel ridiculous. You vetoed the Santa hat almost as quickly as you put it on, and are currently trying to muster the courage of stepping outside with the getup. You have a brief moment where you glance at the bathroom window and...
5. You'll Have Someone To Go To Holiday Parties With
Expectation: You're going to be a scene straight out of Mad Men, where he picks you up looking dapper in a suit and you step out into the hall wearing a silver dress and perfectly curled hair and holding a bottle of red wine. You classy pair, you.
Reality: When has your hair ever been perfectly curled? Also, you're going to get nervous half way through because this is the first big thing you're doing as a couple, then drink too much to quiet the butterflies, and wake up being super happy you don't remember what went down last night. No, don't look at Instagram. Let it...let it be.
6. You'll Have Someone To Ice Skate With
Expectation: Aw, the two of you will hold hands in mittens and circle round and round in front of a giant Christmas tree as holiday music plays and you giggle your way through an hour of trying not to fall. And then, hot chocolates at the end as a treat! Wintertime bliss.
Reality: You break your tooth.
I wish I could say more, but really, you're going to get out there and something like you breaking your tooth is going to happen. Just don't do it, girl. Stay at home.
7. You'll Have Someone To Check Out Christmas Lights With
Expectation: The two of you will bundle up, bring a thermos of hot chocolate, and go hand in hand to go see the beautiful lights your neighbors put up on their houses and apartment balconies. And from someone's open window you'll hear "Silver Bells" begin to croon, and you'll kiss underneath a crisp, dark winter sky.
Reality: It's going to be cold. So cold you're both shivering and sneaking peeks at houses from underneath your wall of scarves and pulled down beanies. And then you'll power walk home to go warm up with wine. Because who takes strolls in the dead of winter anyway?
But that's okay; just because none of your winter activities play out like in the Hallmark movies doesn't mean you're not deliriously happy. Because at the end of the day, you're in love and have someone to share all the blunders with.