All the Reasons Why Dogs are Better Than Boyfriends
Here's why four-legged friends are better than boyfriends.
Dogs will change your life for the better and, in fact, these four-legged friends actually trump romantic partners — at least when it comes to talking back, eating your food, and their bathroom behavior.
Here's why dogs are better than boyfriends:
They Don't Eat Your Leftovers (Unless You Let Them)
Boyfriends eat all of the food out of your fridge and especially your leftovers even when you clearly label them. A dog is more than thankful for the tiny bite of the piece of crust you didn't want anyway.
They Poop Outside
They Don't Pull Any Fast Ones While Snuggling
Boyfriends always think this is the gateway to sex, but sometimes cuddling is just cuddling, okay?! A pooch might aggressively lick your face, but that's it.
They Don't Get Drunk with Their Friends (Or Have Hangovers)
A dog will never say he's going to be home at 11pm, then stroll in at 5am looking like he hasn't showered in weeks and reeking of PBR and bad choices — THEN spend the whole next day in bed whining about his headache.
They Don't Play Video Games or Watch Sports Either
A dog will never, ever bail on your dinner plans for a Warcraft raid or spend an entire Sunday watching football like a sloth.
They Don't Talk During 'Dancing with the Stars'
Boyfriends always seem to ruin it when you're trying to hear what Len has to say.
They At Least Pretend to Listen
They don't understand why your boss is such a meanie, but whatever.
They Don't Peer Pressure You Into Eating Pizza
It's like every time you're really going to have a healthy salad for dinner, your boyfriend comes in and demands pizza. And who can say no to pizza when it's right there in front of you? No one, that's who.
They Don't Send Emotionless Texts
A dog would never send you an "Ok" after you texted about how much you can't wait for him to meet your entire family, even though you're secretly nervous and really hope this is the first of many holidays together.
They Wear Whatever You Want Them To
Sometimes basketball shorts just don't cut it, but it's tough to convey that to a boyfriend without sounding like a jerk.
They'll Never Try a Weird Hairstyle
You won't have to worry about your dog going rogue and deciding a man bun is what he's always wanted. And, in turn, you won't have to be the horrible girlfriend who gets in the way of this dream.
They Bathe When You Want Them To
Sure, dogs only shower every couple of weeks, but if they smell, you can tell them without hurting their feelings and fix the problem yourself. Get 'er done
They're Always Polite to Your Family
Maybe your dog will bark or pass gas at a family function, but you'll never have to worry about your four-legged friend getting into a heated political debate with your uncle, which then makes Thanksgiving really awkward.