29 Thoughts You Have When You Binge-Watch 'Girls' Season 5 in a Day
Because Marnie really is a spectacularly terrible human being.
Let's talk about Girls Season 5. While the show has had its fair share of controversy, I consider myself a long-time fan: Mostly because I think Lena Dunham is a badass, and also because despite the fact that the show's characters are more than a little unlikable, they still keep it refreshingly real.
Because although some would call Hannah, Shoshanna, Marnie, and Jessa dramatic caricatures of their former selves (and I'm not disputing that – it's part of what makes the show so entertaining), the truth is that no one makes it through their mid-twenties in one piece.
Below are the 29 thoughts you'll have while binge-watching the entirety of Girls Season 5 in the span of 24 hours.
1. Marnie really is a spectacularly terrible human being.
2. I mean, why would you marry someone when you're already having doubts about the relationship pre-nuptials? Why would you go and do that to someone, Marnie?
3. Even, and especially, if that someone is an extra-pretentious folk singing manchild.
4. Plus, talk about passive-aggressive Bridezilla problems.
5. None of this stops me from being genuinely worried for Marnie's safety in Ep. 6 – The Panic in Central Park. Because, what is actually happening here. Why is the ex-love of Marnie's life literally selling drugs on the street in Brooklyn? Is no one else concerned by this?!
6. So not okay.
7. And what kind of pseudonym is Migitta, anyway?
8. Okay, so maybe I'm slightly okay with this. Watching Marnie's badly constructed misconceptions of who she is as a twenty-five-and-a-half-year-old woman whose "eyes have been opened" and "hands have been touched" totally and completely crumble makes for such great television.
9. Adultery, shattered illusions, bittersweet realizations, and Marnie pretending to be a hooker in a fantastic red dress and combat boots? This badassery, at least on her part (or should we say Migitta) is almost too good to believe.
10. Jessa gives Marn a serious run for her money, though. I mean, are there no other men in New York City?! The strangely incestuous hookup pattern continues from Marnie and Ray to Jessa and Adam.
11. Why the need to hook up with a close friend's ex – one whom you know they never properly fell out of love with? Who does that?
12. It's funny how Adam is still strangely likable, even when we really don't want to like him at all. (Kylo Ren, anyone?) Though he really should wash his hair more often.
13. I would have really loved to go to Adam's play. So art nouveau New Yorker meets Girls going more than a little meta.
14. Harajuku Shoshannah is pure Girls gold, and my favorite "version" of Shosh yet.
15. It's interesting that as Shosh continues to reinvent herself, she finds herself feeling more and more alone. Is this a staple of navigating your way through a job and relationship in a foreign country, or just of hitting your mid-twenties?
16. As a fellow twenty-something, I venture to call it a combination of both.
17. Can we all agree that Shosh and Yosh were SO cute, though?! Dying.
18. High-key rooting for Harajuku Shosh.
19. Although Elijah is kinda sorta my spirit animal.
20. Watching his character arc throughout this season was both heartbreaking and relatable. We love you, Elijah, even if Dill turned out to be the absolute worst (which we suspected from the start. I mean, no one who's supposed to be that famous is that nice).
21. Actually, I never liked Dill. Condescension is so not a good look.
22. Can we just talk about how awesome the above (and very Hannah-esque) dance scene is?
23. Although trying to go down on Ray when he picked her up in his coffee truck after she and Fran broke up might have been a little much.
24. Too much or not, I'm gonna miss Girls. This is how I feel knowing how long I'll have to wait for the sixth – and final – season: