In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 5 - 'What Happens in Cabo'


Brace yourselves — this is probably my favorite episode of Laguna Beach ever. The one where they go to Cabo! SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!

Oh look, it's Kristin and Alex! They are getting pedicures, and talking about Steph-ennn, as usual. "What's the deal with you and Stephen? Did Lauren hook up with Stephen? Ew, Stephen just texted me. Stephen? Stephen. Stephen Stephen Stephen? Stephen," is how these conversations usually go.

Anyway! The great thing about those super-flared low-rise jeans everyone wore in 2003 was how easily the voluminous pant legs could be rolled up for pedicure-getting purposes. Like so.

Onto L.C. and her friend Jen Bunney, who are shopping for bikinis. I'm just going to transcribe Jen's little monologue, word for word. Because it is horrifying.

"Someone stepped on my $200 straightener! I don't put it away for once! My mom fired my maid because she stole all our silverware. And so I'm a little unused to cleaning up after myself."

Barf. Jen, who later followed L.C. onto The Hills — only to hook up with L.C.'s boyfriend Brody behind her back because she is a garbage person — doesn't seem so terrible on paper? Maybe MTV gave her a bad edit? According to LinkedIn, she majored in neuroscience at UCLA! She did Teach for America! She got an MBA at Loyola Marymount! She's a financial analyst — which, okay, fine — but that at least shows she has greater ambitions than recording a vanity single or starting a "lifestyle blog." You know, the careers most other former reality stars gravitate towards.

Right. Their outfits. Both girls are in the Laguna uniform — faded denim, plain tanks or tees, and white leather (L.C.) or logo (Jen) bags.

Back to Kristin and Alex! They're taking this prepping for Cabo thing very seriously. First, the pedicures, and now, that most early 2000's of beauty rituals — tanning. In a tanning bed.

They call each other in their separate tanning beds. To talk about Stephen. Ughhh.

Bro interstitial! The dudes are golfing. I won't screenshot Stephen's outfit, because it's boring, but Trey is wearing one of his glorious trucker hats, as usual.

Finally — the gang is in Cabo. There are lots of shots of Stephen and Dieter on their balcony, saying things like "Sick view, bro!" and "Dude, this view is sick!"

Down at the pool, L.C. is wearing an ill-fitting polka dot bandeau bathing suit.

While Kristin is, once again, wearing a bikini top that doesn't quite match her bottoms. Because she DGAF.

Kristin's crush Sam is there too, wearing a multitude of accessories — And dolla bills! Aww yeah! — in the pool.

So, later on, everyone retreats to their rooms to get ready for the main event — underage drinking! "Is this too poufy?" L.C. asks Jen, as she does a twirl.

YES! Yes, it's too poufy. Why would you even need to ask that? Even Jen is like "uhh...yeah." It doesn't take a degree in neuroscience (har har) to figure that one out. If L.C. is trying to win Stephen back tonight (Ugh. Girl.), then butt ruffles are not the way to do it.

Delightful detail: The Cabo nightclub the Laguna kids go to is called "Night Club."

Kristin walks in, holding her drink up and fist-pumping with the same hand while half-dancing, in that "I'm here! Woo!" kind of way. Actually, that seems to be everyone's dance move.

I can't really see Kristin's outfit. It looks like she is wearing a red tank top? Until...


When Kristin gets up on the pole (!), it becomes clear that she's also wearing a denim miniskirt and floral wedges. Which are surprisingly 2013-ish! That caption at the bottom comes courtesy of Stephen, whose dialogue on the show, up until this point, has mostly consisted of "Solid," "Sick, bro," "Gnarly," and "Standard." Dude needs to relax! They are in Cabo, and, as literally every character on this episode has said (multiple) times, "What happens in Cabo stays in Cabo." And is broadcast to millions of people on MTV.

Kristin gets down and Stephen immediately starts to berate her. Which is when I went from being mildly amused that both Kristin and L.C.actually wanted to date him —LOL Whyyy? —  to actively disliking him.

So Kristin ditches Stephen and goes to find Sam, who shares Trey's affinity for trucker hats. And wearing said trucker hats in da clurrrrrrb. SPRING BREAK!

Stephen is still pointing and screaming "SLUT!" by the way. Like a crazy person.

This goes on for a while, but I've had enough of Steph-ennn. Let's fast forward to the next day, at brunch. Oh no L.C., not you too. Is that...

Yes. That is a trucker hat. A trucker hat that says "Turkey," mysteriously. Let's pretend this didn't happen.

L.C. is trying to get the group to exclude Kristin for the rest of the trip. "She's wearing a skirt and a little thong and she's up there on the pole. She knows that's slutty," L.C., beacon of morality, explains. Everyone nods solemnly in agreement.

That night, the group goes out for dinner. And L.C. — who is ecstatic that Stephen is mad at Kristin and not even trying to hide it — makes her move. Her move, as it turns out, is aggressively mothering Stephen. During the course of the dinner, she monitors how much he drinks, fusses with the food on his plate, and cuts his meat. All while wearing her standard layered tanks — this time paired with a matching baby blue necklace — and what looks like a pashmina. First pashmina sighting of the series!

Kristin counters all this affection by literally spoon-feeding her seatmate.

Oh, and she's wearing a pantyhose choker! Which, much like Trey's trucker hats, has become its own character on the show.

Speaking of Trey's trucker hats! When everyone arrives back in Laguna, Trey is still wearing the same one he had on earlier! Which is unheard of.

But, my favorite fashion moment of this episode (beside's L.C.'s gratuitous ruffles) goes to Lo's earrings at L.C. and Lo's post-Cabo brunch. Look at them! Are those painted seashells? Do you think she made them herself? That is so Claudia Kishi of her.

We're only two episodes away from prom! Until then, let's relive Trey's best trucker hat moments, shall we? Since he wore the same hat twice this time, and it's a repeat from episode three, it doesn't count! Sigh. He better bust out some really good ones in episode six.

Trey's Season 1 Trucker Hat Count: 6

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