In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 10 - 'The First to Go'


As you may recall from last week's episode, high school is DUNZO! Well, not if you're a junior like Kristin. Sorry, Kristin.

Speaking of Kristin! Episode 10 opens with Kristin and Alex laying out at the beach. Kristin is wearing some shoulder-grazing chain earrings. Remember how dangly earrings were in 2003?

And no matter how expensive they were, they somehow all looked like they were from Claire's.

Anyway! They are talking about Stephen, naturally. "Remember last night at Dieter's? I was looking at you two, and I was like you guys look sooooo cuuuuuuute," Alex says.

Kristin pretends she doesn't care that Stephen is leaving for college soon. "I just want to have fun," she explains, unconvincingly. She's wearing one of those flimsy low-riding skirts (Ella Moss, maybe?) that really only work as beach cover-ups, even though people insisted on wearing them everywhere in the early 2000's.

Now Kristin and Stephen are hanging out with Morgan and Christina, who has decided to ditch her SMU plans, and move to L.A. to pursue her acting career.

"I'm getting my own apartment and like agent and a manager and doing acting, dance, and voice three times a week," she says. (According to IMDB, it looks like her career fizzled out in 2006, after an appearance in a TV movie called The Great American Christmas.)

Morgan, still bitter about not getting into Brigham Young is like, "Remember when you wanted to be a marine biologist?"

Christina makes this face in response.

"That's cool about being an actress," Morgan says, in a way that suggest she doesn't think it's cool at all. These two. They so clearly hate each other.

Stephen gets up to go find Trey (Where is Trey? Is he wearing a hat? Please report back, Stephen!) and then, Christina, who is now angry and needs to channel her feelings somewhere, anywhere, turns to Kristin and is like, "What are you going to do when Stephen leaves for school? Girls that, like, have their boyfriends in college and are like, 'He's faithful to me!' I'm like, 'Yeah right.'"

Kristin remains surprisingly calm, though! She's like "Meh, we're breaking up. Whatever."

Trey and Stephen have reunited! Trey is not wearing a hat, which renders him useless to us. Anyway, he's like "What are you doing with your chick?" And Stephen is like, "It's gonna be dunzo." GOOD TALK.

Now the bros are bro-ing down, playing poker. Lo! What is this? Trey's special neon poker hat.

L.C. and Lo are on L.C.'s porch, talking about important things like "Who has a jacuzzi?" Lo is wearing these, the most 2003 of 2003 earrings.

Talan has a jacuzzi, it turns out. So Lo calls him up! "Hey Talan, what are you doing?" Pause. "You just got a facial?"

So, they're all in the jacuzzi now, and Talan, class act that he is, goes, "So, would you ever have a threesome?"

Lo is like...

And the girls peace out. Fun fact about Talan! He was in the car with Paris Hilton when her then-BF Stavros Niarchos crashed her Bentley into a parked truck back in 2005.

Later that night, Trey hosts a barbecue, where he debuts this — his formal, brocade trucker hat.

He's leaving for college in the morning. In New York City. Here's where the episode gets serious for a minute.

Gah! This is Trey saying goodbye to his dog.

Then, Stephen shares this special memory. "We used to sit in his bathtub with our shirts off, looking in the mirror..."

Go on!

"...going, like, 'Oh, a tattoo would look so much cooler here.'"


Now the girls are at the St. Regis, sipping on lemon water and talking about life after high school.

Here is Morgan, with one too many things on her head.

A headscarf and sunglasses and those ubiquitous shell disc earrings. Morgan, not at all prompted by the MTV crew, is like "Where do you think we'll be in ten years?"

Christina pipes up first. "You'll be married and living back here," she says, in a tone that suggests she thinks that is the most boring thing ever.

She was kind of right, though! Morgan is married now, and appears to live in California — but, according to the internet, is kid-free. She works in marketing and has a lifestyle blog.

Lo decides that L.C. is "going to be driving her big silver Mercedes and living at her beach house with her billionaire husband." Or designing dresses for Kohl's.

"I see Lo at the reunion, waltzing in with her bling and fur," L.C. chimes in. Lo is launching a mysterious "tech venture," US Weekly reported recently.

Now it's time for Kristin and Stephen's goodbye.

"I want to take a picture of your eyes," Stephen says. "When I'm all bummed out I'll tape it to my forehead so it looks like you're right here." Oh, to be inside Stephen's brain. He says nothing all season except for the occasional "solid," or "gnarly," and then THIS which is both sweet and deeply weird.

Only one episode left, you guys! Come, let's do our penultimate trucker hat count.

Trey's Season 1 Trucker Hat Count: 10

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