In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 8 - BEARS!!!


When we left off last week, the Lauren-Stephen-Kristin saga was still going strong. Stephen asked Kristin to prom, and L.C. was not happy about it. She spent the night avoiding the couple and pouting into her red solo cup full of mysterious liquid.

But what will happen to this love triangle when we introduce some new characters? And by new characters, I mean...BEARS!!!

Yes, the gang is going camping.

Come, let the rain (and bears) fall down and wake your dreams.

We open with L.C. and Lo, lounging around in Juicy sweatpants (mint green Juicy sweatpants) and tank tops, as Laguna Beach-ers do. L.C. is upset because Lo's parents won't let her go on an overnight trip to Catalina Island. "You were going to be my supporter. I was like, 'Lo can't camp as much as I can't camp,'" she says.

Meanwhile, Kristin and Alex are also discussing Catalina while wearing $100 sweats. SO MUCH JUICY IN THIS EPISODE.

We find out that Christina can't go camping either, because she has to sing at the Crystal Cathedral, her televangelist dad's megachurch. "Some president has been to it., maybe it was Arnold Schwarzenegger," Kristin says.

Oh, look. Trey has chosen one of his more rustic trucker hats for the boat ride over to Catalina. Is that camo print?

L.C. reads Stephen's horoscope, while looking pointedly at Kristin. "This is not the time to rock the love boat, unless you know that it's the right time to end a relationship." Then she laughs villainously, like this.

Wait, WHAT? Trey has changed trucker hats mid boat ride! Maybe his camo print one just wasn't right for having an "I'm the king of the world!" moment.

Okay, now I'm really confused. In the very next shot, L.C. is wearing a black tank top instead of a blue one. Also of note: her hair daisy from prom. What is going on with this editing? GET IT TOGETHER MTV.

Talk turns to bears. Apaprently Catalina is full of them. "They're gonna attack us," says Morgan, who has also busted out a trucker hat for the trip.

After setting up her tent, L.C. is DUNZO with the outdoors. So she gets cozy with a lawn chair and a copy of US Weekly.

While everyone else goes kayaking. So she calls Lo, who is lounging in her very Pottery Barn Teen room.

"I'm eating sushi tonight and you're eating hot dogs. Yes ma'am," says Lo, worst friend ever. The two are trying to figure out what Lo should wear for her date that night. "Brown and gold is cute together. Brown and gold is not cute together? Ohh. Okay," is how Lo's part of the conversation goes. Just let her wear her brown and gold, L.C. Sheesh.

Some mustachioed rangers stop by the campsite to warn the gang about rattlesnakes. And bears. "If you hear something snuffling at your tent, don't open it," they say. Sunffling? But that sounds adorable.

So, the dudes brought golfing equipment on their camping trip, which, lolololol. They take turns polluting driving golf balls into the sea.

And it looks like Trey pulled yet another trucker hat out of his neverending suitcase full of them. Spray paint!

Everyone seems to be having fun at the bonfire that night.

Except for L.C., who will just not stop with the pouting. Why did she even go?

This is Lo's sushi date, Mike. He enjoys avoiding eye contact with Lo, waxing his chest and wearing wide-open, untucked button-down shirts.

THEN. He answers his flip phone and is like, "Yeah, It's going pretty good. We'll see. I'll give you a call once this is done."

So Lo, wanting to end this date quickly, offers Mike a piece of gum — the universal signal for "dinner is over." Mike only wants half a piece, and Lo is like, "Well, your mouth is big enough."

Meanwhile, back at Camp Sadness, this is happening.


Finally, everyone retreats to their tents. And things get weird.

Stephen has actually rented a bear suit for this trip. He starts growling and crawling around the campground, and the girls begin to freak out.

Until they actually see him in his costume. "That doesn't even look like a bear," Kristin says.

Finally — time to go home! This is Trey's "going home" trucker hat.

Back in Laguna, Christina is getting ready to sing in her dad's stadium church. Seriously, look at this place.

Here she is, with her sister and brother.

And at Lo's place, L.C. is recovering from her traumatic Catalina experience the only way she knows how — by making fun of Kristin. "Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard," she says. "It's like 'Steph-ennn, Steph-ennnnnnn." Girl has a point.

And, that's it! Our main takeaway is that Stephen Colletti is probably a furry.

Trucker hat time!

Trey's Season 1 Trucker Hat Count: 9

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