5 Ways to Rid Your Life of Your Ex
Because doing so is always more complicated than just breaking up.
It’s over. You're broken up. The very hard decision to go your separate ways is settled but now you face the tricky task of disentangling your life from your former partner. The sooner you do it, the sooner you’ll move on and be ready for the fabulousness that awaits you in your newly found singledom. To prep yourself for what comes next, here are 5 surefire ways to rid your life of your ex — for good:
1. Box It Up
Their shirt that you liked to wear as pajamas – along with all of their belongings at your place — need to be packed up. Do yourself a favor, don’t keep any of it. In fact, get rid of it as soon as possible.
You don’t be a crazy person and throw it out. Instead give your ex’s stuff back to them — but do NOT deliver it yourself. A face-to-face meet-up with your freshly former flame will only cause grief and potential heartache. Ask a friend to take the boxed up belongings of your ex, to save everyone the emotional turmoil of an ex interaction.
For the stuff that belongs to you but has direct emotional connections to your ex or your time together, box it up too. Put the mementos that you can’t simply toss into the trash into storage, at least. And if you think you'll be too tempted to dig into the box and mull over the relationship — talk about torture — if it's at your house, ask that friend to keep the box at their place.You can have the box back once you have some emotional time and space from the breakup.
2. Block Your Ex
Creeping on your ex on social media is a popular but dangerous pastime. But it’s a losing game because people only post the best of their lives on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and the like. You’ll end up comparing your insides to their outsides. Not fair!
You could use Facebook’s “hide” feature, but if you want to beef up your protection from an ex appearance in your social media feed, help yourself with the help of technology. The plugin Block Your Ex is great, for instance. It removes your ex from your internet experience after you enter their name, social media accounts, and other online locales.
Also — this is key — avoid drunk dialing your ex. If you can't be trusted after a few cocktails, there's an app called Designated Dialer. You can set contacts you cannot call, and if you do try, you'll be redirected to a toll-free number. If and when you want to unlock the blocked numbers you have to do so with a coordination test. Genius, right?
3. Burn the Sheets You Shared
There are some possessions that can’t be salvaged post-breakup. Although you don’t need to be super dramatic and actually burn your sheets, you can treat yourself by replacing your bedding with the finest Egyptian cotton sheets and/or with fresh new pillows.
When you replace these items, think of it as honoring and celebrating yourself. You can do this by adding family heirlooms or vintage pieces of furniture, even.
4. Get a Breakup Buddy
No, this is not a hook-up buddy or rebound relationship! A "breakup buddy" is someone you trust immensely, who you can call any time, day or night, to talk about your feelings. It's someone you trust and can confide in during your worst days.
There’s no denying you’re going to have emotional ups and downs post-breakup. There will be days when you’ll be confident in the decision to end the relationship and other days when you aren’t sure at all. Those “off days” are when you need people you can reach out to. If you can vent to a breakup buddy, chances are you'll feel better immediately.
5. List Their Faults
Yes, you shared some great memories. But those are in the past. You can’t get hung up on reminiscing about the good times because there had to be an awful lot of bad times to get you to a relationship breakdown. To kick yourself in the butt when you put on these rose-colored break-up glasses, have a list handy of their traits that drove you nuts. If you can realistically recall your ex, it’ll be much easier to let them go.
Break-ups aren’t fun. Ever. Although it's important to grieve the loss of the relationship and not deny your muddle of feelings, you don’t need get emotionally stuck. If you follow these five ways to rid your life of your ex, you’ll be moving in the right direction.