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1 . Who cares if you have substance? Prince Charming only cares about the aesthetic.
2 . Get you a man with a foot fetish.
3 . Pretending you're something you're not is a great way to start a relationship.
4 . Always go for the guy who lies to you about who he really is.
5 . Guys love when you play hard to get.
6 . It's totally cool to hop into a stranger's ride.
7 . Who cares about your bohemian mermaid lifestyle?
8 . Also, be sure to marry a guy you've never actually had a real conversation with.
9 . The RIGHT advice: "He's a human, you're a mermaid."
10 . Every woman over the age of 30 is definitely bad news and wants to steal yo' man.
11 . Stockholm Syndrome is real.
12 . Also totally fine for your abuser to "buy" your affection.
13 . You should spend all your time waiting for the love of your life to show up.
14 . Maybe don't put all your trust into seven weirdly moody little men.
15 . Who cares if you're a princess? Your greatest ambition should be to stay at home.
16 . You can change someone who shows absolutely no inclination to change.
17 . Oh, and you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.
18 . You should sacrifice yourself and your beliefs for love.
19 . Go on with your bad, sleepy self and wander off with that stranger in the woods.
20 . If he plants a smooch on you while you're passed out, it just means he cares.
21 . You need a prince to slay your dragons.
22 . By all means, go for the man who abandons you in the mountains.
23 . If someone breaks into your tower and tries to seduce you, you should just go with it.
24 . If your childhood best friend disappears for years, you should definitely stalk him.
25 . Finding the right guy will automatically solve all your problems in life.
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