In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM(MTV)

This week, the New York Times posted an article on the increasingly elaborate ways high-schoolers are asking each other to prom. (Custom-made fortune cookies! Scavenger hunts!) But, in the grand tradition of NYT trend pieces, the paper was a liiiittle bit late. Ten years too late.

Laguna Beach-ers, like, invented the prom "ask."

Everyone ready? Mist yourselves with spray-tanner, grab your solo cup full of mysterious liquid, and let's recap!

We open with a shopping scene. "We're talking about prom," Kristin says to Morgan in a totally cool, casual way — not at all prompted by an off-screen MTV producer.

Kristin and Stephen went to prom together last year. "He asked me in a totally cute way. He came to my window at, like, midnight," she says. Which sounds terrifying.

Morgan seems nervous about not getting asked. "You know how some people are like, I'll go even if I don't have a date? I would never. It's just gonna be me and Ben and Jerry at home," she says, following that up with some maniacal laughter.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Kristin and Morgan S. — a new character! — also find this hilarious.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Hilary Duff theme song time! 'Let the raiiiiin fall down."

Onto L.C. and Lo. They are in their happy place — South Coast Plaza — picking out prom dresses. L.C. poses the age-old question, "If you could go to prom with anyone, like, not even in our school, who would it be?"

"Chad Michael Murray," Lo says.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
WAIT A MINUTE.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
I recognize those shopping outfits! (I don't have a lot going on in my life right now.) L.C. and Lo totally wore them in Episode 4, when they were trying on lip glosses in Sephora. WHICH MEANS EVERYTHING IS OUT OF ORDER AND NOTHING MAKES SENSE.

"What about this?" L.C. says, holding up a sundress that looks sort of Banana Republic-y.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

Lo's answer: "That's...no."

Uh-oh. Kristin has a stalker! Someone dropped a note on her doorstep — "Dear Kristen, I see you everyday and I hope you see me. Every time I see you, that funny feeling comes to my stomach. I've been meaning to ask you something, but I don't know what to say. I think over the next couple of days I'm going to try to have you notice me and see how you react." — along with some red roses.

Judging by the spelling errors, this is probably Steph-ennn's doing.

Dieter is asking Jess to prom in the most romantic way possible. With a bigass sign.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

When's he hanging said sign, we get a look at his unusual accessories — double middle finger rings!

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
When Jess gets out of class, a limo is waiting for her. With this note inside.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Sigh. They're one of those "baby" couples.

Trey arrives to help Dieter set up, but since he's not wearing a trucker hat, I don't care.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Morgan's prom proposal is a bit creepier more creative. She opens her bedroom door to find a baby pool full of fish (!) and "Of all the fish in the sea, prom with me? Gary" written in blood purple paint, on her window.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE FISH AFTER SHE SAID YES, GARY?

Trey's prom ask was pretty sweet. He lit about a million little tea lights.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

And wore his finest gold-braid-trimmed trucker hat for the occasion. He also slung a belt across his chest like he just won "Mr. Fashion" in a beauty pageant, and buckled another belt around his bicep, for good measure.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

Here is Kristin, looking like the words "California, 2003," came to life. Note the pink tube top and whiskered denim.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

Hold on, whose blurred-out buttcrack is this?

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
It's...Stephen's! Of course. He was Kristin's "stalker." And he jumped out at her, half naked, with "Prom?" and some other things I can't quite make out written on his chest.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

JUICY VELOUR TRACKSUIT. Juicy velour tracksuit!! Look, Lo is wearing a Juicy velour tracksuit! In baby blue.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

The gang is going shopping. Christina picks up a pair of shoes "Ooh...Marc Jacobs!" "Those are, like, $300," L.C. pouts. You guys. Remember when Marc Jacobs shoes were $300?

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

Kristin and Alex are getting their nails done. "Why do you hate Lauren so much?" Alex asks.

"I just think she's kind of a little brat...She's completely fake. She can't carry on a conversation. The only time you ever hear her talking is flirting with guys. She's a little princess," Kristin says. Burn.

Later, back at Kristin's house, I finally see that early 2000's brand I've been dying to spot — Von Dutch!

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
It's not a trucker hat, but I'll take it.

Now we get to see some prom dresses! L.C. and Lo are wearing short flouncy things with hem ruffles — red for L.C., blue floral for Lo.

L.C. went super color-coordinated with her drop earrings. Also of note: hair daisy!

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Kristin's dress is basically the same as L.C.'s. But in green. She looks so excited to see L.C. omg.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Lo's date Michael looks like 80's teen movie material. Look at that feathered hair!

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Photo time!

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
I see Trey did not wear a custom bedazzled trucker hat to prom. MISSED OPPORTUNITY.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM

MTV couldn't actually film at prom, but this shot of Stephen at the end of the night, in the group's white stretch hummer, makes up for it.

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
Everyone is so drunk. Lo's date is dunzo. He leans out of the hummer to throw up and Stephen is like, "lol."

Then Stephen and Kristin start making out and L.C. is like:

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
And so ends prom! Trucker hat time.

Trey's Season 1 Trucker Hat Count: 9

In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROMIn Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROMIn Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROMIn Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROMIn Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROMIn Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
In Which We Analyze Every Look on 'Laguna Beach' Season 1, Episode 7 - PROM
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