'The Client List' Season 2, Episode 12 Recap - 'When I Say I Do'

'The Client List' Season 2, Episode 12 Recap - 'When I Say I Do'
(Courtesy Lifetime) The Client List season 2 episode 12 recap

The last time we saw Riley, Kyle, and Evan—Two weeks ago! It's been so long!—they were down at the police station and Riley officially told Evan to back off. 

This week's episode—two from the season finale!—opens with a montage of Riley giving happy ending massages at The Rub. Jennifer Love Hewitt is a good actress and all, but to honest, throughout this whole season, her massages are completely unconvincing—just a lot of running her hands over buff man-pecs, etc. Not that we're complaining. But. Anyhoo.

In the middle of a massage, right before she gets down and dirty with a strapping fireman whose wife just left him (sad face), a blue light starts flashing in the room—apparently the emergency signal that a cop is here. Riley puts on a shirt and runs out to the reception area where she finds... Evan!

He's not there to arrest anyone, though. His neck hurts, so he just wanted a massage. Since it would be awkward for Riley to rub his neck, he winds up on Selena's table—awkward because they dated, but not that awkward because Selena is awesome and, also, hilarious. Evan tells Selena about his new girlfriend Shelby and how she's freezing him out. Selena gives him a talking-to.

"You don't date the people you work with," Selena says, "it's just a disaster waiting to happen." Say the woman who's sort of dating Derek, who also works at The Rub.

'The Client List' Season 2, Episode 12 Recap - 'When I Say I Do'

The Kyle Update: So Kyle is making lots of progress—and we're starting to like him again! The first time we see him this episode, he's hanging out with Dale in the park eating food truck burgers. Dale tells Kyle that last night he dropped a truck full of lumber at Vandermeyer's Construction Company—the company Kyle is testifying against in court soon. Dale also advises Kyle to stop pressuring Riley to let him move back in. He tells Kyle he should be like, "The willow in the wind." Then Dale starts doing a weird willo dance. In the middle of the park. "Be the willow!" he commands.

That night, Dale, Lacey, and Kyle head to Riley's for dinner. Kyle notices Lynette's rehab bill—$7,500 for the first month—and he wonders aloud how Riley's going to pay for it. He winds up secretly selling his favorite guitar and paying the bill behind Riley's back.

The next day, Kyle goes for a job interview and it goes really well—yay! So well, in fact, that he decides to pick up a bouquet of flowers and shows up at The Rub to surprise Riley. He tells her that if he gets the job, she can quit hers and will be able to spend more time with the kids. That's when she has to tell him that she can't quit The Rub—because she owns it.

'The Client List' Season 2, Episode 12 Recap - 'When I Say I Do'

Georgia's getting married! And Riley is the maid of honor—which means she's running a ton of errands at the last minute... like getting a cake because the pastry chef accidentally delivered the wrong cake to Harold's Bar. The wrong cake? Looks like a Bratz doll with a pink icing skirt. Yeah, that's not going to work. 

Luckily, Riley manages to secure another cake at the last minute! It is, however, unfortunately space-themed. Yes. There are planets all over it. The morning of the wedding, Kyle comes over to help Riley and Lacey move the flowers and favors and cake to the wedding reception venue and while they're moving it, Kyle gets a call from the job he thought he was getting and it turns out they did a background check and he didn't get it. 

Then they drop the cake.

All for the best, probably, because it looks blue inside.

Just an hour before the wedding, Georgia's locked herself in the back room with a bad case of cold feet. "You know, you can just get caught up in all of the romance," she tells Riley. "With my first husband, I thought it was true love, i thought it was for keeps. But it's normal for the honeymoon phase to fade. I just wonder whether Harold's love for me will fade along with it."

Riley helps talk her down—and Georgia and Harold get married, just the two of them, in the back room. 

Kyle—who can bake!—makes a cake and shows up at the reception just in time.

Ooh ooh ooh! Jennifer Love Hewitt is going to sing!!!!! We haven't heard her sing in, like, three whole episode. She sings "When You Say Nothing At All." All is good in the world

Evan's in the doghouse: At the station, Evan's new girlfriend Shelby is totally freezing him out because she can tell he's still hung up on Riley. In the meantime, while he figures out how to win her back, he gets put on a special undercover assignment to bust prostitutes at massage parlors. He arrests one masseuse from Siberia who offers him a happy ending—and turns out she works for Greg Carlisle, the bad guy who's trying to buy The Rub. 

While he's making the bust—before he arrests the masseuse—he gives the girl a shpiel about how he's estranged from his girlfriend. And Shelby is listening from the surveillance van. She forgives him later on in the episode, shows up at his apartment, and attacks him. They end up in bed—this couple's natural habitat.

'The Client List' Season 2, Episode 12 Recap - 'When I Say I Do'

And how are Dale and Lacey? The couple seem to be doing really well—despite Lacey's miscarriage a few episodes back. Dale tells Evan he's going to do something amazing and romantic for Lacey. It's unclear what he's got planned—but then the next scene is Dale and Lacey at the batting cages. Um. We hope this isn't the grand romantic gesture. Oh boy, it is.

Later in the episode, Dale takes Lacey to the baseball field and he proposes to her all over again on the scoreboard. Apparently it's her anniversary and she forgot! He gets down on one knee and tells her that when he originally proposed, he couldn't afford the ring she deserved. He produces a major shmancy ring and asks her again. So sweet!

What about Derek and Selena? Are these two love-hate-birds ever going to really get together? The answer this episode is a resounding YES. When Riley suggests that Derek go to Georgia's wedding with Selena, we weren't sure that was the best idea. But at the wedding, Selena confesses that she still believes in romance and marriage—even though she thinks she'll never get married because she's not "marriage material." Derek tells her that she just needs to find the right guy... and it's him! They slow dance the night away. Sweet.
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